Thursday, October 18, 2012

Share The Load

One of the many things I have discovered along my healing journey is that we are not truly individuals.  We are all connected at a very deep level.  We are all unique creations, but at the very core we are the same.  You can call it whatever you want, but I believe it is our spirit, given to us by our creator - God.  I feel that when we start out in life that spirit within us shines so brightly...then with the trials, pain, disappointments that come with life that light diminishes, and so does any belief we may (or may not) have that there is a "good" God out there.  This also effects our souls.  (I see our spirit as the very essence of life - the same for all of us, and our soul as a more individual extension of ourselves.)  I don't want to get too deep or complicated with this, but I think our spirit flows throughout our bodies and actually out into the world.  If you know anything about how acupuncture works, it kind of makes sense.  I believe that each one of our spirits impact the people around us.  Have you ever been in a really good mood and then had someone suck that right out of you...sometimes without them even saying a word?  Thankfully I have also had the opposite experience where I was feeling really down, but one of those naturally glowing people showed up and turned it around, just like that.  Maybe it's just me...maybe I am just an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person...yes, this is a REAL condition!  LOL! - check it out: http://www.hsperson.com)  I would argue that we all are to a certain extent.  When I started writing this post the word "humanity" came to mind, so I had to look up an exact definition.  I found this, "humanity = human beings collectively."  We are one.  What happens to one happens to all, in a sense.

Ok, now for the original idea for this post...other people's pain and suffering.  I have found that there are typically two responses to another person's struggles...one being, "I have been there/felt that before," and the other being something like, "Lord, I pray I never have to face something like that."  Before I technically "got sick," I was always very focused on my health.  I would literally think to myself, "I can handle anything as long as I have my health...I've just got to have my health."  I almost set myself up to crumble if something were to shake my health.  Well, God never promised that life would be easy, but He did promise that He would always be with us.  He never forsakes us.  "REALLY?!" you might say.  God being there for us and loving us does not always mean our problems just go away.  It means that we will have what we need to get through.  Many times that comes in the form of other people, placed in our lives for a reason.  We ourselves are also placed in the lives of others for a reason, and we should never underestimate our own importance.  As I mentioned above, I believe we all have the Spirit of God inside of us, and that makes us more than capable...and also responsible.

As Mark Nepo writes so eloquently in part of his poem "The Way Under The Way":
"It doesn’t matter how we come
to this. We may jump to it or be
worn to it. Because of great pain.
Or a sudden raw feeling that this
is all very real. It may happen in a
parking lot when we break the eggs
in the rain. Or watching each other
in our grief.

But here we will come. With very

little left in the way.

When we meet like this, I may not

have the words, so let me say it now:
Nothing compares to the sensation
of being alive in the company of
another. It is God breathing on
the embers of our soul.

Stripped of causes and plans

and things to strive for,
I have discovered everything
I could need or ask for
is right here—
in flawed abundance.

We cannot eliminate hunger,

but we can feed each other.
We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.
We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion."

No matter how good someone looks on the outside, we all have "something."  In my discomfort and frustration the other day I was whining to my husband about the fact that as long as you have your health you can improve any other issue you might have in life...you can work to make it better.  It was like I was wanting to "trade" my issue for something else.  He just reminded me that this is "our thing" and that everyone has something.  Thankfully we don't worry about where our next meal is going to come from, we have a comfortable home and utilities, we don't struggle with addictions, we have safe surroundings, we are a loving family unit...  The list is endless of issues we don't have, but sometimes it is all too easy to focus on the issue you do have...and think it is the worst one.  However, not a day goes by that I am not reminded that there are so many out there in far worse situations than I am in.  That makes me grateful, and it makes me want to be a comfort to those people.

Tragedies, though times, struggles, suffering either break you wide open or lock you up tight.  If you can allow it to open you up, you just might find even a small ray of purpose in it - compassion and love for others.  You then have the tools to walk someone else through it, and there is no greater gift you can give.  There is no greater purpose or role than loving and caring for others.  It is the very meaning of life.  No matter what you are going through, just try to go beyond yourself.  I have really learned this one from being a parent.  Even when I feel awful (ok, maybe not my very worst days), I try to put it aside and be happy and enthusiastic for my son.  Actually sometimes I think that is one of the reasons he was put here...to keep me going.  It has to be about more than yourself.  That doesn't mean you have to be a parent to get it.  It can be about your elderly Aunt who lives alone, that animal you adopt, a poor person you pass frequently, someone who is sick, or someone who has lost a loved one.  The gesture doesn't have to be grand or expensive...it can be a visit, a phone call, a note in the mail, a hug, sharing a warm meal, doing a chore, holding a hand.  Be a blessing to someone.  I believe we are put here to do for God what He cannot be down here on earth physically doing Himself.  As unfortunate as pain and suffering is, it makes us more qualified for the job.